Couple of weeks back I was watching a Kannada movie in which
actor Ambareesh acted. The name of the movie was “Poornachandra”. The movie
is about an elder son in the house struggling to get his younger siblings
settled in life by his hardships. He will be trying to educate his two brothers
and a sister. Also, tries to settle down his sister with a marriage. He along
with his wife try to save each and every penny without using for themselves but
for his siblings. But in the movie his siblings do not value his sacrifices but
look at it as his duty. What if he had abandoned them without doing anything or
what if his wife had not allowed him to take care of them? They would not have imagined
what their lives would have been. Not all siblings are like that. They will
remember what their brother or sister have done to them.
One such story I am going to tell is of my own father. Yes, I
have seen it live. He struggled throughout his life to get his brothers and
sisters get settled. My father was only 28 when his father passed away. His two
younger brothers were studying. His younger most sister was just 15 years old.
Imagine the burden of the family on him. My grandmother was also dependent on
him.
In spite of all this he got married because he himself wanted
to settle first and someone to support him. My first uncle got a job after a
couple of years. In the mean time I was born (a girl child). My dad and my mom
struggled so hard to accumulate money for both his sisters’ marriage. Everyone
was living in the same house!! Not only that the alliances have to be searched
for his sisters which took a lot of time and energy and money from them. Not
only for sisters, for this younger brother also my dad has to search a bride.
Again lot of energy and patience involved.
Meanwhile my younger sister was born. After five years of
her birth my last aunt (youngest sister of my dad) got married. I clearly
remember how my dad was just not accessible to me during this time. He was so
busy in marriage preparations. Our house was filled with so much marriage materials
that we could not sleep in the ground floor at all.
After one year of that my youngest uncle got married. Not
only this meanwhile my grandma had fallen sick many times. My mother and father
have toiled in the hospital too.
Even after my dad’s sisters were married, they came for their
childbirth to our house for care. For five months too my mom used to support
them along with my grandma.
But one good thing is my dad’s sisters and brother acknowledge
and respect that my parents have taken care of them.
In spite of all this my dad also had two daughters. He
educated us and also saved for our marriages too. In the meanwhile he got issues
in his office too because of which he did not get his pay for 6 months in the
year 1997. Imagine how he would have run the house?!
Not only this, my mom and dad used to support my mom’s
sister and brother alliances too for quiet some time as my mother lost her
parents early. They got my mom’s sister’s marriage arrangements done. Of course
mom’s brother took care, but searching task was hugely on my parents. I can
think of many of my dad’s relatives and friends during their times just looking
after their spouses and kids and leading a comfortable life.
In total my parents have taken care of 5 marriages of their
respective siblings and two daughters’ marriages.
All this I must say they handled quiet well and with lot of
patience. Anyone else in their place would have got restless and disturbed. Now any difficulty whether related to money, health, emotional or any matter does not seem big for them because they have seen it all. If feel it
is easier to talk philosophy than acting in real life.
All this when I am writing, I can clearly make out the hardships they went through. In this journey what I have seen is nothing in our lives we have faced the hardships like that. It gave us strength, resilience and inner strength to deal with difficulties of life more than anything. It is about not just valuing money but also handling responsibilities and people!!
Nowadays it has become rare to even visit your own relatives or friends houses!!
But one thing I have stopped doing is explaining or telling
all this to anyone these days because only people who have empathy or who can
relate how things would have been taken care can relate to what I say. Others
just ignore or do not want to listen. I just wanted to record my experiences
but necessarily not share it with anyone deliberately.
Hope a good read for all who read this and hope you can
relate to!!
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