Gendering Kids

When I was carrying for second time after a long time since we go married (the first one was ectopic), I was always wondering which gender I ‘prefer’. Everyone will have preferences and being a girl and being a daughter I was wishing to have a girl child. Then someone told me one should not do that. It is always good to pray to God for a healthy child. Then I realized, how crucial and important it is to have a healthy child.

When I delivered my son, the doctors told that there is a small issue in his right foot. It was almost attached to his leg. I and my husband had a big loom on our faces on the day when my son was born which was the happiest day of our lives too. But what doctor told was it gets proper automatically and if not there are surgeries to make it proper. We were only praying God that his foot becomes normal and over a period of time with God’s grace, it became alright.

After some time he had severe head injury in his 11^th month. It was the most worrisome and traumatic moment in our lives because doctor had not given any hopes on his brain getting affected until the CT scan report came, That time too by God’s grace, everything became alright. It was a moment when we just wanted our son to be healthy.

When one says I want girl or boy, I would always think in my mind that let God bless them with a healthy child and let them come over such things.    Even small health issues in the new born will have greater impact on parents’ minds.

Now when I am with my son, my love for him is not greater or lesser than having a girl child. I do not look at him as my son first, I look at him as my kid blessed by God.

Of-course, once he becomes adult, he may be called as man. But I do not want to attach those man/woman attributes to him when he is such a small kid.  Definitely we should not attach such things when they are kids. I personally do not want to wish to do such things because I know it hurts their parents the most. Being a girl and daughter I never look down girls like the way others do. Same way I do not want my son to be looked down. I am his mother and I have got many such hurts and I have cried silently on such things.

Sometimes I get comments like sons will not be with us, sons will do this, sons will do that, like that. But people who are telling such things want me to go through such things I feel? They want me to suffer because I have a son and it’s a sin to have a son. I just let it go. I have come to a stage now where I do not care about such things. Whether it’s a boy or girl kid, I have to go through what is written in my forehead. Most people take atmost care of their kids irrespective of genders.

I only wish everyone to have a peaceful life with their kids because I know having kids is a blessing and I also pray for myself to have a peaceful and harmonious life with my kid.

 With best Wishes, it's TVR...

Human re(a)l(iz)ations

After a real long time I am re-starting my blog. After reading some of my posts in the blog I am amazed how I could disconnect from it for so long. It’s  a means of putting my thoughts and opinions. In a way it’s a let out and in other way it’s way of getting connected with people.

Recently (or always made to think) I have been thinking about human relations. A very complex aspect, I would say the most complex thing in the world. With every human being we come across we share a certain relationship. Even with a stranger there is a relationship. Do not we call by the name stranger? It’s a way of having that ‘strange’ relationship.

Letting our egos go is the only key and way to survive or enjoy any relation. This is not new and everyone would have experienced.

Most of the times the known relations of parents, spouse, children, siblings, in-laws, friends, neighbors, relatives and colleagues will be going on daily basis. But sometimes it gets to a point where one needs to put extra effort to get the relationship going.

Having issues/fights with spouse is very common. And if it gets out of control then one has to put positive efforts to make it work. I myself has gone through this phase and I am happy that the efforts we put that time is still lot of worth and we re-discovered ourselves as someone very much worth sharing our lives with. Once it is done, there will not be any looking back. Some will express that love they share and some will not bond. But still it is the relationship of life.

With parents, often few will have issues. But with this too, even with not putting any efforts, somehow that parental connection is awesome.  I have heard stories about my parents’ relation with their respective parents. What gaps they had and what they loved. I also have almost same share of experiences but I am very happy about my blessings.

With kids most of the times it’s unconditional love. It cannot be expressed in words. I would say the love we share with our kids is out of the world. Nothing can replace it. Whether it’s boy or girl, I think people should love their kids equally and among kids also there should not be any divide. My son is the biggest teacher in my life and taught me lot of patience. Kids are given by God just to enjoy their growing up years and experience their golden days of growing years. If we have expectations from them, it is like give and take, which I feel should not be done.  After my son is born I have always felt God has blessed me in every possible way He can because through him He has reached me physically.

With siblings, it’s common to have differences and fights. We also used to fight even when we were in colleges and my parents used to moderate. But still blood relation holds somewhere the thread. I consider my sister as my best friend with whom I can share anything and everything and she also does the same.  It is this untold factor that holds us very close.

With neighbors, colleagues and relatives, even though it is very informal, among them we hold good regards for few. It is good to keep looking everywhere to learn from everyone.  Apart from few, I have been happy to have good colleagues, neighbors and relatives with whom I have always enjoyed working, talking, enjoying respectively.

With in-laws too, definitely there will be issues because we will be from different backgrounds, still after sometime once we get to know them, we’ll get used to them and share a cordial relationship.

Last but not least, the friends. It is one such relation where one has to give up their egos and competition. Then only a friendship can survive. I have a friend who is in US, but never forgets to wish on my B’day, who keeps talking to me how much-ever busy she is and she still considers me as her best friend. I am the kind of a person who do not have many friends but very few, but stick to them forever . I have had many friends and best-friends too.  I also had a friend who is now settled in Australia who does not have time to send me msg even on whatapp (all know how easy it is over there). Some have gone in their paths forgetting friendship for no reason which even after unanimous efforts from my side have failed to come back. I get a feeling of getting dumped and pains a lot :(, I have to move on counting  on other friends.

Overall I have had good relations with almost whomever I have come across. I have had issues with almost everyone but still enjoy their company and want to get good out of everyone. In that way God makes me grow which is what is required for me to have a satisfying life.

With Best wishes It's TVR..