Thursday, 18 September 2014

Gendering Kids

When I was carrying for second time after a long time since we go married (the first one was ectopic), I was always wondering which gender I ‘prefer’. Everyone will have preferences and being a girl and being a daughter I was wishing to have a girl child. Then someone told me one should not do that. It is always good to pray to God for a healthy child. Then I realized, how crucial and important it is to have a healthy child.
When I delivered my son, the doctors told that there is a small issue in his right foot. It was almost attached to his leg. I and my husband had a big loom on our faces on the day when my son was born which was the happiest day of our lives too. But what doctor told was it gets proper automatically and if not there are surgeries to make it proper. We were only praying God that his foot becomes normal and over a period of time with God’s grace, it became alright.
After some time he had severe head injury in his 11th month. It was the most worrisome and traumatic moment in our lives because doctor had not given any hopes on his brain getting affected until the CT scan report came, That time too by God’s grace, everything became alright. It was a moment when we just wanted our son to be healthy.
When one says I want girl or boy, I would always think in my mind that let God bless them with a healthy child and let them come over such things.    Even small health issues in the new born will have greater impact on parents’ minds.
Now when I am with my son, my love for him is not greater or lesser than having a girl child. I do not look at him as my son first, I look at him as my kid blessed by God.
Of-course, once he becomes adult, he may be called as man. But I do not want to attach those man/woman attributes to him when he is such a small kid.  Definitely we should not attach such things when they are kids. I personally do not want to wish to do such things because I know it hurts their parents the most. Being a girl and daughter I never look down girls like the way others do. Same way I do not want my son to be looked down. I am his mother and I have got many such hurts and I have cried silently on such things.
Sometimes I get comments like sons will not be with us, sons will do this, sons will do that, like that. But people who are telling such things want me to go through such things I feel? They want me to suffer because I have a son and it’s a sin to have a son. I just let it go. I have come to a stage now where I do not care about such things. Whether it’s a boy or girl kid, I have to go through what is written in my forehead. Most people take atmost care of their kids irrespective of genders.
I only wish everyone to have a peaceful life with their kids because I know having kids is a blessing and I also pray for myself to have a peaceful and harmonious life with my kid.
 With best Wishes, it's TVR...

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